It’s good to have you here today and I hope your weekend was exhilarating. Mine was awesome because I slept virtually through the entire weekend (laughs) and I’m glad I did as I feel more refreshed and ready for the month of November.
Alas, the year is about to come to end and everyone is warming up for the festive season (except me…I just don’t have that eagerness for Christmas these days. Is it just me or is it part of the adulting process?). So I know that you had started this year with so much enthusiasm and so so many goals or resolutions that you hoped you’d have achieved by the end of the year.
Well, how has it been? How many things did you set out to do and how many have you achieved?
If there’s one thing that I always hope everyone works on is their self development; mentally and in other areas too. I’ve come across people who have worked so hard on it. I’ve read the progress report of others yet there’s always a setback somewhere that makes it seem like they’ve been laboring in vain all the while. You see or hear something that makes you shrink back, look down on yourself, hate and even hurt yourself.
Few weeks ago, I ran into my course mate and she was so excited to see me. She kept commenting about how spotless my skin looked and I was bewildered because I knew deep down that it wasn’t, so I quickly rebuffed the compliment but she insisted. Her reason was that it was far better than it was in school back then. Everyone who has met me knows my struggles with acne.
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Years back, it made me hate myself so much that I would even punish me by locking myself indoors for days. I had a dangerous kind of inferiority complex that made me become antisocial, temperamental and withdrawn all because I had acne. It seemed like I was the only one in the world who didn’t have a flawless, acne-free face (TV and Internet didn’t help either) and I lost opportunities such as acting jobs, face modeling jobs and handsome boyfriends too (grins) as a result of it.
Yours could be the fear of failure, rejection, your body shape, your skin color, your academic status, social status…..you, name it. They are all insecurities that make us feel horrible and less of ourselves at certain times in our lives.
But are you going to let this year end without breaking free from those chains of insecurities? Do you still body sham yourself, skin color and whatever it is that you’re insecure about?
Remember that if you treat/carry yourself as a king or Queen then people will accept and treat you as one. So, it’s possible that you’re the reason why people look down on you and your potentials. If you mock yourself, it gives people the idea that they can also mock you and get away with it. YOU NEED TO START BUILDING YOUR CONFIDENCE IN THAT AREA WHERE YOU ALWAYS FEEL INSECURE.
I got to realise that the world would keep moving whether I was there or not. As I brought myself down, billions if people were putting themselves out and I started to feel like I wasn’t even existing anymore. I quickly decided to work on myself.
HERE’S WHAT I DID?
I woke up one morning after my room mate had gone for lectures, stripped myself naked and stood in front of the mirror. I started to admire myself from the crown of my head to the sole of my feet. I started complimenting my body features, body shape, skin color. I spoke to my personality and scolded myself for attempting to make God seem like a fool for creating me. He made me in his image and likeness so this means that he wasn’t mistaken when He gave me a brown skin color or oily skin. I thanked God for how He had made me and I started to make positive confessions to the lady in the mirror.
“Cynthia, you’re beautiful even with the acres not to talk of when they’re no longer there, you’re intelligent, strong. You have a high self esteem. You’re confident in who you are and how you are…….”
I kept saying the opposite of those negative feelings and mindsets that had ruled me previously and trust me, darling, it worked.
Two months ago, I counselled a lady who couldn’t get over the death of her father even after five years. She was losing weight drastically despite all the food she ate and everyone was worried about it. So, after having some sessions with her, I instructed her to do the exercise for at least, a week. Two weeks later, Tonye was happier and started recuperating. It worked for her!
I’m certain that it can work for you too.
Try it out, suggest it to someone who might be struggling with insecurities too. It works like magic every time. If you have had to fight insecurities too, I’d love to hear how you did it in the comment box below this post.
Most importantly, how you see yourself or feel inside always reflects on the outside and will attract its like. If you keep storing sour grapes, you’ll only attract the friends and relatives of sour grapes; maggots, flues, bad smell…..and you don’t want that now, right?
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I’m really anticipating to hear from you in the comment box below, let’s talk…….