5 THINGS THAT ARE A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME

This topic, ‘7 things that are a total waste of time’ might hit some of you as offensive in a way but if you are a regular AGJ reader, you already know that we can be as blunt as we can be here. So if you are new here, take this special kiss from me and other members of the AGJ family.

I have met people who detest being told that they are ‘wasting their time’. And to be honest, I hate it too. You hate it too, right? It can be really annoying especially when you seem so lost in what you are doing, enjoying it all and then BOOM! One killjoy comes to tell you that you have been wasting your time all the while.

Allow me to sound like one of our multi-talented online motivational speakers now;

The truth is that there are things, hobbies, attitudes that we do consciously and unconsciously that have not just become die-hard habits but have become a way of life for many of us. These habits have shaped who we are currently in one way or the other (whether you agree with this line of thought or not). And keep influencing us while forming the basis of our belief systems, most of which are wrong. (Well, that’s because they were formed through wrong actions or behaviors repeated overtime).

NOW, the question is: What are some of these things that we are doing comsciously or unconsciously that are time and destiny wasters?

THINGS THAT ARE A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME

1. Watching TV:

40% of you already had this in mind that’s why we just have to put it here so we can not ‘waste precious time’….hahaha whilst saving the best for later.

“Shuga oooo……I’m beginning to sound like a high school senior prefect. I too get sense….lol!”

Okay, what exactly are you expecting me to say here? Its definitely not fat-fetched from the thimgs you’ve heard about already. A notably wealthy man once said ‘only a poor man spends every day of his life watching others make money while he does nothing. He only realizes this when he is at the final stage of his dying life’. “Wow……that can’t be you, honey. Or is it?”

Watching TV is bad………….for your growth, success, career bla bla bla. Before you start thinking, ‘what’s wrong with this Abuja girl?’, let me also add (quickly) that watching TV is not bad too. And that’s only if you’re watching them for the right reasons. Oops! That’s probably another topic of discussion to own an entirely different post. BUT more frankly, watching TV is also bad and a total waste of time. The trick is to do it in moderation just as the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible states.

Most of the time you spend in front of that big box, (if you’ll be true to yourself) can be used to achieve other things that will add a step on your ladder to success and fulfillment in life. Except, of course, you’re watching educative and informative contents.

Try turning off your TV today then focus on one thing that will add a milestone to your dreams even if its just to meditate.

2. Trying To Solve Everyone’s Problem – Are you Jesus?

Now…….now, my darling: stop acting like you can carry all the problems in the world on your shoulders. Its a big waste of time……your time….precious time (except of course, your time is not precious). You can’t do it all on your own. It will only keep draining you of vital energy. This is going to be hard for:

  • People who find it hard to say NO to people around them, including strangers.
  • People who have a heart for and naturally care more about others than themselves.
  • People who like to engage in philantropism for public display etc.

No matter how kind you are or how hard you try, you will never be able to help every body. Take a minute to google how many Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs), philantropists and charity organizations that exist all over the world. To be more specific, try finding out how many are in your continent alone. The statistics are staggering yet they’ve not been able to help everyone.

You need to LEARN TO SAY “NO” to people and events sometimes, no matter the amount of pressure they try to mount on you. Help needs to be withheld from some people sometimes so that they can learn to sit up and make things happen for themselves rather than relying on been spoonfed by anyone all the time. Besides, many of them just feel entitled because they know that you will always come through for them. Mind you, I am not even talking about financial help alone. It could be counsel, career-wise, emotional needs and more.

Wisdom demands that you do the best you can do per time. Be sensitive to know when you can give what you can. Don’t go out of your way to go in debt, loose good relationships or friends or family or sound health because you want to be good to people.

Remember again dear: You are not God!

3. Trying To Win Every Conversation You Have With People.

Everyone is not always a winner in life, and most especially in arguments or conversations. Different people will always have a different perspective, perception, belief and attitude about anything – food, football, religion, relationship matters etc.

I learnt this the hard way especially because I used to like to argue and argue and argue and argue and argue…..lols. I always seemed so sure so whatever it was we were talking about and would never back down until the other party(s) accepted defeat. I know it sucks and sounds really awkward even as I write this. Yet I didn’t care any less what anyone thought about it. “A total waste of my time and energy. It got so bad that every one in my generation thought I would drop dead if I didn’t study law in the university then go on to law school to become a barrister. Hehehe

Initially, you will feel hurt and think that they are getting it wrong. They need to be corrected and you are definitely the only one who can do it because you are the only one who knows it and must be the only one to tell them to their face because you hate to gossip or talk about people behind their backs. Phew! That’s a whole lot that you have got in your hands dear…..slow down!

No one likes to have their thoughts, opinions or beliefs shoved down the gutters or that of others shoved down their throats. It is demeaning. It lowers people’s self confidence and sends a note of insecurity down their spines. No one likes to feel this way. I know you do not. Neither do I. After a while, you will start to lose friends and family will avoid having even the most inconsequential conversations with you because “she or he is so full of himself, is too loudmouthed and is an ‘I too know’.

Instead of trying to win every conversation or argument, just end at a truce. Do not agree with them and do not disagree either. The most important thing is that you know or presume to know what the right thing should be.

What do you do when you find yourself in a ceaseless word war during arguments or conversatioons.

4. Remaining In A Relationship Because You Feel Bored or Lonely

Need I say how much of a total waste of time……such time as is priceless. Why would you even do that to yourself? You deserve to be happy.

The bad news about this, is that the other person will realize this insecurity sooner than you expect. Once they do, they WILL take advantage of the weakness and do lot of demeaning things to you both physically, pschologically, emotionally and spiritually. I do not know about you but I would rather be bored or lonely than to be unhappy or feel emotionally abused.

There are other ways to cure boredom and loneliness. Staying in a relationship (abusive or not), having a one night stand with friend or foe is not one of them.

Please visit Relationship And Marriage by Barrister Ocholi Okutepa and his wife, Julia Okutepa on Instagram for more expositions on this.

5. Doing Something Because It Makes Your Parents Happy While You Are Unhappy

Hmmmmm…….this is one aspect of our lives as Africans and Nigerians that we do not like to talk about. Most people are practically living their parents’ fantasies.

You carry short hair because they say so. You left engineering which you know you can die for, to study to be a medical doctor because they insisted you do just that. How about those people you stopped associating with only because your mum or dad doesn’t like them. I could go on and on listing out other scenarios. I know you can already remember the things you had to forgo because you wanted to keep making them happy. Afterall, they raised you, breastfed you, spoonfed and everything-else-fed you and that’s perfectly ok. It was their responsiblity, no one else’s and they had to do it anyway.

Now I am not trying to give you a wrong sense of entitlement or make you rebellious. On the contrary, I am saying – you have your own life to live. Especially if you have graduated from the University and have started to earn a living for yourself.

There are going to be things you would want to do, be or engage in (good things o) that make you happy; those things that give you that ecstatic sense of fulfillment. They won’t like it but it should not stop you either most especially when it has got to do with something that will make your life (and theirs, by extension) better. They might not get the picture or understand what you are all about initially. Just go ahead, honey. They will finally come through and when they do, they will be glad that you did not listen to them earlier.

And Guess What!?!

They wil be super proud of you and give you that approving nod of ‘that’s my boy’!

Did you get to this point? Then I’m glad you did. Reading this entire post is not a total waste of time. Leaving a comment below and using the share buttons to share it won’t be, either. Lolz.

Thanks for staying with me. Make sure to check other posts that will add even more value to you!

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Hi dear, thanks for visiting my blog. I am Cynthia Ukachi E. a.k.a Shuga. An ambivert who loves to talk and share her life's journey in order to impact, educate or entertain. I'm passionate about helping people balance their lives, acting, presenting and organizing events. Abujagirlsjournal is my online diary where I talk about things ranging from motivation, self help tips, relationship talks/advice to events and more. You don't want to miss any of those so go ahead and subscribe to follow for regular updates.

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